Fine or not fine

How many times have we asked someone how are they doing and they said, “I’m fine,” “everything’s fine,” “just fine.” How many times has a husband asked a wife what’s wrong and the wife says, “nothing, I’m fine.” And how many times have you said it and lied. For most people it’s an automatic response. They say it without thinking either because they don’t have the time to tell someone the real story and how they are actually doing. Or they don’t want to tell someone what’s really wrong.

There was a time when fine was a slang word. When a man said a woman was “fine” it meant she was good looking. Some men might have meant it in a derogatory way but depending on their tone, just like today, it was usually a compliment.

According to the dictionary, fine means high or highest quality, choice, excellent, or admirable, very well, like fine China or wine. But I don’t think this is what most people mean when they say they are “fine.” Some mean okay and some even mean mediocre. But no one who says fine means excellent, of the highest quality or very well.

I don’t know if this has ever happened to you but today when someone asked me how I was doing, I broke down in tears. Several stressful things have been going on and I had just gotten out of the dentist chair, which is WAY too stressful for me. Normally, I would say, “I’m fine.” but today, that would have been a lie. And I was obviously at the end of my “hold it all inside” rope.

If we are brothers and sisters in Christ, why do we lie to each other? There are times when we may not have time to talk but maybe we can make a date for coffee or invite them over. If this is not a friend we trust to keep our story to themselves just ask them to pray for us. If this is someone we don’t know that well, just give them a brief prayer request. God put us together on this earth to help us survive the ups and downs. We should be talking to each other, praying for each other and loving each other like God loves us, not lying to each other when we are asking about our lives.

So when someone asks you how you are doing, can you change your answer? Instead of saying fine, make it a more truthful answer. Say, “I’m good today,” “I could use some prayers about…. Instead of saying fine, make it a more truthful answer. Say, “I'm good today,” “I could use some… Click To Tweet or “This has been a really great day! Praise God!! What about you?”

For more information about Steph’s ministry go to Steph Speaks page. You can get my book “You are God’s Masterpiece!” on Amazon for your Kindle or other devices with the Kindle app.

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Crystal Twaddell

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7 thoughts on “Fine or not fine

  1. This is so true! We seem to not want to share what’s really going on. Maybe it’s hard to share, maybe we think people aren’t interested, or maybe there isn’t time to go into it. Regardless, we have become people who sometimes spend very little time finding out what’s really happening to others. This is a great challenge to stop the “I’m fine” if we are not fine. Thanks for sharing this! Good stuff!!

    1. Thanks so much for visiting Leslie. I feel closer to other bloggers I talk to online sometimes than I do people I see in person! And that’s really sad. But it took breaking down like that to write about it and maybe now I can get others to be honest too.

  2. “If we are brothers and sisters in Christ, why do we lie to each other?” This is so true! I can’t help but think about how we put on our happy faces, post our best family memories on social media… yet sometimes we aren’t “fine.” We are called to lean on each other and encourage one another in the Lord, but we can’t do that effectively if we’re always pretending to be at our best in front of each other. (I am SO guilty of this myself!) Thank you for the encouragement today. 🙂

    1. Thanks so much for visiting Alyssa. We can’t fellowship with each other without honesty but we are all guilty of it I’m sure. So I for one will now be more honest and more likely to be a listening ear to others. God bless you, Steph

  3. I agree, it’s very easy for our automatic response to be “I’m fine,” however we are feeling. We do need to get better at being honest with each other, and loving one another. Visiting from the #RaRaLinkup

  4. Oh, that’s true. I think it’s so general and universal to say you’re fine to maybe stop people from asking further questions. Or maybe despite what you’re going through you believe that all is well.

    But I love this reply, “I’m good today!”

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